Two Moons to Describe Someone 

​I often think that humans are enjoying the judgments of others about themselves. They enjoy being appreciated for what they have done and their good personalities. But it also occurred that humans have fear of judgments by others whenever their bad side are being exposed. 

Whenever humans in this state of “fear of judgments”, they will try their best to evade the consequences by acting according to what society think is the best. As they are trying to fit, it will create some kind of alter ego and develop other fake personalities which often trigger humans to feel like they are not being themselves. 

That is why I think that there is a possibility that people who we know (or when we think personally that they know us), are not acting with their original scripts. They are trying to find the script within other people around them. They will become original men who try to comfort others, but actually hurt inside. 

It is hard, but it will not be hurt to try it. 

Sharon Creech once said, “Don’t judge a man before you walk two moons using his moccasins.” The term “moccasins” could be interpreted as an idiom to explain about seeing from the perspective. You have to become that person and gain knowledge about sales-marketing for about 2 months. 

So let’s drop the subject now by trying to focus! 


People’s Needs to be Appreciated 

One of the wonderful lessons which I have learned through meeting with new people in my life is about humans need to be appreciated by others. It never occurred to me that I begin to think about how slightly important it is to be appreciated by others. Both of appreciation and acknowledgement are two basic human needs. Humans need to be appreciated for who they are is an important matter which contribute to their desire to continuously improve their qualities of life.

To be surrounded by people who acknowledge us for the way we are is not an easy task. It requires effort to make the circle of those people. The question is how do we find it? We can find it by expanding our networks through various events. Networking events or traveling could contribute to this. We should try to find other people who share similar values to us. It is not necessary to have all of our values blend together, but we have to make sure that most of our values are there within these people.

The first case which I found was in a peer group while you are studying at the class. It often occurs to us that we have a gang or two as a student either at school or in university life. These peers are people who understand the most notable things about us, the one who give us rooms to become ourselves. Some people are failed to get the most of them because they chose the wrong peers. They thought that they have a good peer while actually the peer is the one who destroy them.

The second case is the dangerous one. Some people who seek to acknowledgements sometimes do not care about what they do either it is bad or good. The results of this matters are various cases which we witnessed in newspapers and social media sites. I am pretty sure that some evil doers do not actually do bad things because they are evil. Some people are in the case to fulfill their economic situations, some others seek for acknowledgement or we could simply call it popularity. It is not hard to find people like this. They are all around us and we need to try to appreciate them for what they are, not by what society demands. Sometimes it is the norm pressure in society which prevented this kind of people to achieve good results in life.

I am not trying to blame the norms. The norms are there to guide us on becoming a better society. But trying to press the norms to some people who can make a greater contribution by adapted to a different norms is not a good thing to do. We should give people rooms to become themselves. People are looking for some ways to be appreciated and we could not change the fact.

A Late Night Chat in Omegle 

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like anime.

Stranger: Hello

You: Hi!

Stranger: How are you?

You: Not so well, not so bad either…

You: How about you?

Stranger: I can relate.

Stranger: Got any big plans going on this week/month/year?

You: Doing some essay competitions, even if my chance of winning is few

You: Do you have some big plans ongoing?

Stranger: Ooo, I wish you luck sir/madam. I’m sure you’ll do great.

You: But procrastinating is a part of my daily life, like what you witnessed here when you chat with me

Stranger: Absolutely nothing I’m invited to. But that doesn’t mean I wont crash the wedding I wasn’t invited to! But shh, I’m dressing up as a ninja.

Stranger: Oh, so the delay was on purpose, subtle!

Stranger: But hey, at least you replied. Half the time I get no feedback, or just some sex hungry dude.

You: I could imagine, like what Ranchoddas and his two friends doing. Sneak into a wedding party and get free snacks from there lol

You: Well, it’s not really on purpose. But just without I realized it.

Stranger: Maybe, but this is one I should have been invited to. Sadly it’ll be the second one I’m not invited to.

You: Why don’t they invite you? Did they have some grudge on you based on a problem or two?

Stranger: Nah, one said family only, I can respect that, also probably couldnt go anyways so no big deal. This one, no clue, maybe they just havent yet.

You: Only for family, eh. Is it some kind of tradition or norm in your place?

Stranger: No, just what they wanted. keep it close.

You: I see. It’s pretty sad not being able to attend it when you want to.

Stranger: It varies based on the way someone grows up here, and the money, and just generally who they wanna invite. Some dont invite family, some get eloped etc.

Stranger: Yeah, but it would have just been the thought of an invite that counted for me, even if i couldnt make it.

You: It’s pretty complicated. In my opinion, one should invite all of their families and friends if they could afford it.

Stranger: of course, but weddings are for the bride and groom, should they not want people there, thats their choice, they would have known i couldnt go so she coulda said you would be invited if you could come

You: I think I get the point now

Stranger: So, where do you live?

You: I live in Indonesia

You: How about you?

Stranger: Ah! First I’ve met from there. the USA.

You: Ah, the USA

You: It’s pretty far from here

Stranger: Quite far!

Stranger: What’s your name and how old are you?

You: My name is Bagus and I’m 20, but I’ll turn 21 this July

You: And what’s your name sir/madam?

Stranger: Happy early birthday! Mine’s Sebastien and I turn 23 next month.

You: Happy early birthday too, haha

Stranger: Ty

You: You’re welcome

You: Where do you live in the US?

Stranger: Louisiana

You: Lousiana, I recalled that city is in Johnny B. Goode lyrics by Chuck Berry

You: But I don’t know where it is exactly in America

Stranger: It’s a state actually. It’s the part that has a boot shape jutting into the gulf of mexico

You: So it’s located in the south, eh

Stranger: Yes

You: I’d like to ask your opinion

Stranger: Sure

You: What do you think about Donald Trump? Does he qualified as a president from your perspective?

Stranger: He honestly shouldn’t even be alive. He’s a racist, sexist, rapist, he thinks money can fix everything because it fixed his mistakes and he absolutely is an A-Class idiot. Hillary is better than him but has her own issues. Bernie Sanders swould be way better.

You: I think so too, it’s like he pulled some strings to begin WWIII. Even prohibited Moslems to go to the US. I think that it’s going too far 😦

Stranger: Everything out of his mouth is him going too far.

You: Under today circumstances, do you think that he’ll win the trophy?

Stranger: Honestly, he got this far in, it makes me worry america is occupied by idiots who don’t deserve the gift of life.

You: It’s like the media keep pushing him up

You: I’m afraid that too

Stranger: I think I’ll be moving to canada if he wins. Hopefully he thinks all white/orange (cough fake tan cough) people live in canada and wont nuke it

You: Is it that easy to immigrate from the US to Canada?

Stranger: I was born in canada, so hopefully I’ll just be let in lol.

Stranger: But generally easier to do that then any other country.

You: Haha, I see

Stranger: I had fun chatting with you, viva la revolution if trump wins, gunna go look for more interesting chats! You have a good one Bagus.

Stranger has disconnected.

The Problem of Development 

We tend to judge part of the society who lives in a lower standard than us as incapable to gain better lives. Then we offer them some helpful advices and resources which going to benefit them in our way of thinking. We don’t even bother to ask whether they enjoy being themselves or it is just our prejudices to judge them for living in a lower standard. Will our help strengthen them or just make their lives become harder? Modernization brings up a new advantage as well as more disadvantages for the society.

To be able to define whether something is good for the society or not is not an easy task. That is why we need to carefully examine what society really needs. We can’t press our knowledge which can differ from the reality to the society.

Firstly we have to come up with the same framework with the one who we are willing to help. By trying to keep the empathy on them, we can dig up some basic information on our targeted people. As we are not judging, they will give some input to our insights. This will benefit both sides of the project, between the doer and the target audience.

As it has finished, we need to define what really best for them. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just keep the status quo, but it is not uncommon for the input to become a useful resource for our project to be done. We can contribute to the maximum potential of ourselves, because we can concentrate on the part which was defined before by both parties, not just one sided.

By doing the project accordingly with an intent to know what we can provide, not what we thought we can provide, we could strike to the point where the society lacks the most. It could strengthen the environment, the world and also the people.

Hai Februari! 

Ketika terbangun melihat kalender di layar handphone pagi ini, kulihat angka 31 sudah berganti menjadi angka satu, begitu juga dengan Januari yang telah berganti menjadi Februari. 32 hari telah kulalui di tahun 2017 ini. Februari menjadi sebuah bulan penentu keberhasilan di tahun ini. Karena setelah beristirahat selama sebulan setengah, akhirnya badai akademik akan kembali menerjang dan berbagai tanggung jawab lain akan datang menghampiri. 

Melihat sebulan ke belakang, aku jadi ingin sedikit melakukan evaluasi terhadap kegiatan di keseharianku. Di Bulan Januari, aku telah melakukan perjalanan ke tempat baru, yaitu Banten Lama yang merupakan situs sejarah peninggalan peradaban dari Kesultanan Banten yang dahulu sempat besar di abad ke-15. Dengan melakukan perjalanan ke tempat baru, aku telah belajar untuk menjadi independen dan mengambil keputusan dalam situasi yang belum familier. 

Selain itu, aku telah mengunjungi Bontang, kampung halamanku selama beberapa hari. Walaupun sebagian besar waktuku di rumah dihabiskan untuk tidur dan menonton film-film picisan, aku belajar untuk menguatkan komitmen. Ya, 7 Januari lalu adalah hari dimulainya 30 Days Writing Challenge yang menuntut komitmenku untuk bagaimanapun caranya menghasilkan tulisan,  apapun topiknya, selama 30 hari berturut-turut.

Januari juga bulan ketika aku mencoba menuliskan resolusi-resolusi yang ingin aku capai ke depannya. Jika Gretchen Rubin memulai The Happiness Project di Bulan Januari, maka aku memulai Januari dengan mencoba menjadi bahagia dengan caraku sendiri, yaitu memperkuat kecerdasan emosionalku (emotional intelligence). Sehingga orang-orang di sekitarku juga ikut tertular virus-virus kebahagiaan, mulai dari hal kecil sesimpel memberi mereka perhatian untuk hal-hal yang mungkin bagi kita bukan apa-apa, tapi begitu bermakna untuk mereka. 

Lalu bagaimana dengan Februari? Jika Januari adalah tahap memulai, maka Februari adalah bulan dengan sejuta kesempatan. Ia akan menjadi suatu katalis yang membawa kita untuk memenuhi apa yang jadi keinginan kita di Bulan Januari. Asalkan kita bisa menjaga reaksinya terus menerus dengan mengisi bahan-bahannya yang ada di pemikiran kita. 

Time Waits for No One

“Time Waits for No One.”

I first read those wonderful phrases while I watch Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo, an anime movie about a girl called Yoshiyama who can leap through time. She kept repeating her day over and over. When she was too lazy to get out of her bad, she will stay asleep and then re-run her day so she was at full strength that day. But when she repeated her days over and over, she realized that her time was limited even though she could repeat it many times. Also, she felt like she lives in an unfamiliar world which is different from her usual living place. She realized that it does not necessarily feel like living when you live apart from other people.


Time waits for no one…


So I came into a thesis that no matter how we want to spend our time wisely, we need to give full attention to people in our lives. There is a saying that most people are either living in their past or looking too far away into the future so that they live in neither the past, the present, or the future. They just spend their time countlessly thinking about what they could do next or other things which could lead to being productive. But I want to differentiate between being productive with living in other worlds.

Humans tend to need some extra times in order to be focused on their obligated tasks. Sometimes they even forget their surroundings and immersed totally within their own world. We often mislead this as being productive. I agree that being productive is something that really matters for us humans. We have so many tasks to do, some are an obligation, some others not. But we should invest our time in order to become productive by managing our time wisely. So we could define a space of time when we could manage to get things done right away and effectively. I know that this is not an easy task to do, and that is why it is important to do some research in order to find our right biological time when our brains are crystal clear enough to tackle our problems.

Finding the right biological time involves various self-development process. We have been granted 24 hours a week and 7 days a week from God. And among those precious time, we must have been encountered some random occasions when we could get things done without many hard works to do and only with few efforts. The answer lies when we have tried to finish our tasks at different times of the day. Be it at night, in the morning, at noon, etc. That precious length of time should be used wisely by us. If possible, we could invest that time to get our things done. Therefore, we do not need to avoid people in order to finish our remaining tasks which often become an excuse to not meeting people.


Kaki Siapa? 

Siapa yang memiliki empat kaki di pagi hari? 

Empat kaki yang menunjukkan betapa lemahnya ia 

Empat kaki yang membuatnya harus menundukkan kepalanya lebih dari biasanya 

Siapa yang memiliki dua kaki di siang hari? 

Dua kaki yang membuatnya leluasa melangkah 

Dua kaki yang membawanya ke ujung dunia 

Siapa yang memiliki tiga kaki di senja hari? 

Kaki yang membuatnya termenung seharian menatap matahari terbit hingga terbenam 

Kaki yang lelah hingga melangkah selangkah dua langkah pun ia tak sanggup 

Siapakah dia? 

Kurasa Sang Sphinx di tengah gurun pasir lebih tahu jawabannya 

Taking Things For Granted (II) 

Today I would like to tell another story with the same topic as yesterday. We will still discuss taking things for granted. This topic has enchanted my mind to rethink about how we should be grateful for every single thing that God provided us. Even for things that we did not realize up until now.

“If you thank Me, I will surely increase you.”

[Ibrahim, 14:7]

Today I have just done a job of accompanying some senior year high school students who were brought to Universitas Indonesia (UI) by FORKOMA UI BANTEN, a youth-led organization consists of UI students from Banten. Those high school students were granted prizes to visit UI by FORKOMA because they made remarkable essays if I am not mistaken.

The event for today was field tour to some faculties and schools of UI. I was responsible for taking some students who the main committee has assigned us to wander around my faculty, the Faculty of Humanities (In Bahasa: Fakultas Ilmu Pengetahuan Budaya or FIB), along with Debby, Tomi, and Laras who are FIB students as well.

We tried our best to explain about advantages and disadvantages of studying at UI and FIB, respectively. They were given information about majors that UI offers and the culture of diversity in UI. Some of them were truly interested and even asked some questions about the daily life of UI students and other interesting questions which you can expect from high school students.

As I watched them and tried to answer their questions, I began to realize that I have been in their position in the past. For your information, Universitas Indonesia along with Bandung Institute of Technology (ITB) and Universitas Gadjah Mada (UGM) are the top three universities in Indonesia which high school students all over Indonesia aim every year. It was also a dream of mine to be able to study at one of those three institutions, and here where I am now, an undergraduate student at Universitas Indonesia.

Today I am feeling that it is pretty normal for me to be a student at UI because it feels like a normal circumstance for about 2.5 years since I became a student there. As time flies, I began to forget how grateful I was to become a student at UI. Sometimes I even skip classes for insignificant reasons just to please myself for a while.

What if I meet the 17-year-old version of myself now? Will he blame me for taking this gift for granted? I am not sure about the answer yet. But now, I will just try to be grateful for what I am, for this gift that I often forget about its existence.

Taking Things for Granted

Yesterday an enormous problem came into my life. I was going to an amusement park in Ancol, North Jakarta with some friends. The incident happened in a flash while we were walking in a dark area of a ride. My head suddenly stroke unseen wall. I went dizzy for several seconds and realized that my glasses were gone from my head. It was just a few seconds later that I found out that my glasses were broke into two pieces so I could not wear it just like the usual.

Without my glasses, I am nothing. Even the most magnificent view, is nothing before my worn out eyes. I just realized that I used to take my glasses for granted. As I wore them every day, I began to forget how wonderful it was to be able to see clearly with those glasses.

It is natural for humans to take things for granted for almost every single thing that we experienced in our lives. Just like what happens with our parents love for us. At first, it was normal for us to be thankful for toys and clothes that our parents bought to us during our childhood. But soon enough, we will start thinking that it is normal for parents to do such a thing for their children. We will begin developing such a mindset of take things for granted.

Now we need to examine how we could tackle this problem well. Imagine that your precious best friend always teaches you math after school. You thought it pretty normal for your best friend to teach her friend. That is not wrong, but try to consider that your best friend has sacrificed some hours of her precious day which she could use for other activities such as running errands for her mother or visiting her grandpa’s grave.

What we have to do is to appreciate every single thing of life that life itself or other people have granted for us. We need to know that not almost everything became like the way it is because of how it was supposed to. When we are grateful for everything, we will not be devastated when those things are taken from us.

Are You Done Praying?

“Are you done praying?”

Kalimat itu sepertinya tepat untuk mengawali tulisanku hari ini. Terkadang (bahkan sering) manusia di abad ke-21 ini beribadah dengan rajin, tetapi melupakan Tuhannya ada di mana. Tentunya masih ada manusia yang benar-benar mencari keberadaan Tuhan seperti halnya mencari tukang tambal ban pada pukul satu pagi. Tentunya ada, tapi sulit untuk menemukannya.

Bukan karena Tuhan jauh, tapi karena manusia sudah terlalu lelah dengan kemilau gemerlapnya lampu-lampu gedung tinggi di senja hari. Oleh desingan bunyi kereta komuter yang di dalamnya ribuan manusia berdesak-desakan sekadar mengisi ruang sempit kehidupan. Oleh komentar-komentar pedas yang menghiasi kupingnya dari orang-orang yang saling tak senang dengan keberadaan satu sama lain.

Manusia itu katanya jika tidak oportunis, maka dia akan dilalap habis oleh api-api kebusukan di sekitarnya. Jika ada perumpamaan yang menggambarkan hal ini, aku rasa itu seperti bunga-bunga di sebuah taman di siang bolong yang dihinggapi lebah tanpa henti. Ia memang sungguh indah, namun tak ada seorang pun yang berani mendekatinya.



Dari aku yang masih bodoh kepada pembaca yang budiman, sebuah refleksi singkat usai membaca Il Principe dan Thus Sprake Zarathustra.